We have yet to turn the clocks back. A steady rain is falling. Today's darkness feels like a blanket I can't quite shake off.

I fret about the upcoming election. Our "new normal" feels neither new nor normal. And then I remember I need to befriend the darkness, not avoid it. The gifts of darkness are just harder to see....

"I have learned things in the dark that I could never have learned in the light, things that have saved my life over and over again, so that there is really only one logical conclusion. I need darkness as much as I need light." - Barbara Brown Taylor, Learning to Walk in the Dark

My grandmother loved hats. Hats and gloves. 

My mother used to say hats and gloves were the shopping purview of plump women. Be that as it may, there was no denying my grandmother's fondness for millinery.

On the day she died she took a train into Boston and found herself a hat she just couldn't resist. The shopkeeper wrapped her prize in tissue paper before placing it in a sturdy hatbox. She returned home later that afternoon and placed the hatbox on her dresser before lying down for a nap. As she closed her eyes she glanced one more time at her new hat. It was the last thing she saw.

I hope I too will see something I love just before my death. But in the meantime, I'm just trying to live up to my hat......

“I recommend the French beret, for it gives the impression of just the right soft toughness, a veritable wave of sophisticated brain matter. It is the kind of hat that inspires a person to grow into it, to become the person they never knew they could be.” 

― Meia Geddes, Love Letters to the World

As a person of faith, I have always been confused by the stance that to be a believer negates one's ability to be a proponent of science.

There will always be mystery. But does that mean we should stop wondering?

Who would set a limit to the mind of man? Who would dare assert that we know all there is to be known? - Galileo di Vincenzo Bonaiuti de' Galilei (1564-1642)

In case you're wondering, I'm the one person on God's green earth who has not yet seen Brené Brown’s TEDx talk.

That said, last night I stumbled across a documentary in which she reveals, among other things, the inspiration for her first book, Daring Greatly.

Spoken during a speech in 1910, Theodore Roosevelt urged the crowd gathered before him to focus their energies not on the naysayers and critics, but on the bravery it takes to get in the game.

All hail to those who, "at the worst ... at least fails while daring greatly."

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” - Theodore Roosevelt (1858 - 1919)

Best known for Jake, their optimistic stick-figure mascot, Life is Good founders Bert and John Jacobs (pictured above) grew up in my hometown. They hail from a large raucous family who, after gathering nightly at the dinner table, would be asked by their mother, "tell me something good that happened today."

Yes, we all have work to do. Yes, we are all spinning far too many plates. But perhaps, more than ever these days, we need to keep an eye out for the fun.

“Having fun at work is not a diversion from productivity. In fact, it’s an essential ingredient to staying loose, open, creative, and solution-oriented. Fun makes for easy lifting. You can have strong ideas, great products, and a brilliant team—but fun is the grease on the chain that keeps the whole bike rolling.” 

― Bert Jacobs, Life is Good: The Book 

I come from a long line of pumpkin carvers.

While I was never enamored with the spooky, ghoulish feel of Halloween, my family considered Jack O' Lantern creation a high art. Originally a tradition begun in Ireland, these days carved pumpkins just as often display goofy faces as they do scary ones. Even so, I feel out of step when it comes to Halloween, a fraidy cat caught in a haunted house.

While I cover my eyes, thoughts of spider webs, slasher movies, and vampire fangs still swirl in my head. November can't come fast enough.

"Where there is no imagination, there is no horror." - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

This past week I had a chance to watch the talented Renée Zellweger portray Judy Garland, a role that won her the Academy Award.

So much talent. So much promise. So much sadness.

Of the many wonderful moments Judy offers us in her seminal performance in The Wizard of Oz, perhaps it is her sidekick, the Tin Man, who speaks the film's most poignant line.......

"I shall take the heart. For brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world." – Tin Man, The Wizard of Oz

Yesterday, for the first time this year, we lit the fire in the fireplace.

Time to dig out the plastic pumpkin pails, find the extra blankets, and stockpile a few extra cans of soup in the cupboard. It’s what cold weather folks do. It’s tradition.

I have long been leery of tradition, worried I would become trapped by the expectation to mimic whatever came before.

But as the heat wafted toward me from the fire’s flames, I felt only comfort. A sign, perhaps, of a change of heart.

“Tradition is not the worship of ashes, but the preservation of fire.” - Gustav Mahler

The first time I remember seeing Harvey Fierstein was as the indomitable Edna Turnblad in the Broadway production of Hairspray. The moment I heard that scratchy husky voice, I fell in love.

National Coming Out Day (October 11th) is a celebration of identity and love in all of its various forms, shared on your own terms and in your own time.

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." —Harvey Fierstein

I remember it like it was yesterday. Judy Shepard sitting in my office, her long eyelashes coated with a sheen of mascara and tears. Her eyes cast downward.

She was shy, painfully so. And yet she was traveling across the country to tell the story of her beloved son Matthew, beaten and left to die, tied to a fence in Laramie, WY. 

His body was discovered twenty-two years ago today, now dead longer than he was alive. I remember it like it was yesterday.....

“As a young person, I feel it necessary to show the great nation that we live in that there doesn't need to be this kind of violence and hatred in our world. And that loving one another doesn't mean that we have to compromise our beliefs; it simply means that we choose to be compassionate and respectful of others.” 

― Judy Shepard, The Meaning of Matthew: My Son's Murder in Laramie and a World Transformed

The first woman president of a major university, history professor Hanna Holborn Gray took the reins of the University of Chicago on October 6, 1978. Imagine all of the twists and turns that made that moment possible.

Which begs the question, to what unexpected place might you be headed?

"I think it is important to remember that every choice made will open up totally unanticipated options and opportunities. I have concluded this truth will remain permanently hidden to youth, however hard one tries to convey it. One needs to experience its reality in order to learn that every decision or step one takes when starting out is not necessarily, indeed is not likely, our final destination." - Hanna Holborn Gray

R-O-L-A-N-D G-A-R-R-O-S. It just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? As I practiced my French before heading to Paris for the first time, this was the phrase I earnestly recited.

This hallowed cathedral of tennis was what initially drew me to the City of Lights, where my childhood hero swatted away challenger after challenger with her two-handed backhand. Gracious in victory and gracious in defeat, Chrissie Evert showed me what mental toughness was all about.

"Ninety percent of my game is mental. It's my concentration that has gotten me this far." - Chrissie Evert

As the first month of "Bytes" draws to a close, I am reminded how powerful words can be. 

I am grateful for the connections this space has created, particularly during this time of separation and social distancing. In the words of our 39th president, our diversity is our strength.

“We have become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.” 

― Jimmy Carter

My Dad's first car was a black Model T. The engine was gravity fueled, which meant he had to drive backwards up all the hills so the gasoline would continue to flow toward the engine. Some days I feel as if I'm doing the same......

Today marks the 112th anniversary of the launch of the Model T. So in honor of my Dad, this morning's quote is from Henry Ford, creator of the Model T and of the Ford Motor Company.

"You can have it in any color you want, as long as it is black." - Henry Ford

After a post-Presidential debate night filled with a restless tossing and turning, this was the quote that bubbled up from my unconscious this morning........

"Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind." - Henry James (1843-1916)

With so much clamoring for our attention these days, including tonight's presidential debate, I make note of September 29th for one reason and one reason only. It's my wedding anniversary.

Today I am reminded that marriage is an act of love, devotion, and will. How very fortunate I am to have found someone worth fighting for.......

“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.” - Paul Sweeney